Coachella 09: Where I’ll Be
Posted by Dan Buczaczer | April 8, 2009
Spring means Coachella and Coachella means my fully ranked guide to what I want to see and what I hate. This guide proves extremely useful until the actual schedule comes out and all my favorite acts are up against each other with nothing to do at 5pm but catch a terrible DJ set by Gui Boratto. So until then let me know where you’ll be or tweet me real time @dancecarbuzz.
As always, lists come with rules and caveats. Here they are:
+ Acts are ranked from 4 stars to one star.
+ 4 stars = Do not miss. 3 stars = I’ll make it a priority to see them. 2 stars = Would like to see if I can but no sweat if I miss it. 1 star = Not gonna happen.
+ Acts are also ranked within each star. So I really would like to see Leonard Cohen though not quite as much as The Hold Steady.
+ Certain acts are much lower than they normally would be because I’ve seen them sooo many times. You can bump each of the following acts up a few notches: Morrissey, Black Keys, Ghostland Observatory, Silversun Pickups, Franz Ferdinand, The Crystal Method, The Killers, M.I.A., Chemical Brothers, Yeahsx3, PB&J, The Cure
Good? Everybody ready? Let’s go!
DAY ONE
****
Paul McCartney
Part of my musical bucket list
Girl Talk
Missing them last time was a mistake of Daft Punk proportion
***
The Hold Steady
Even specially-designated beer serving areas can’t hold them back
Leonard Cohen
Pro: a welcome break from pretender bands Con: Boring?
We Are Scientists
Almost guaranteed fun
M. Ward
Mellow but almost certainly good
Dear and the Headlights
Day One’s best surprise?
Beirut
Half-gypsy, half-Euro disco
**
Morrissey
Unless Johnny Marr is spotted on the premises…
The Ting Tings
Should be fun if not fairly unspectacular
Los Campesinos!
Pro: fun and catchy Con: too much xylophone
Bajofondo
If Alfred Hitchcock played tango in Ibiza
Cage the Elephant
Kentucky boys trying to do The Stones
White Lies
Filling this year’s Interpol slot
The Courteeners
Brit-pop
Alberta Cross
Dreamy country folk
Patton & Rahzel
This stands out in a cookie-cutter lineup
The Airborne Toxic Event
Like a much less talented Arcade Fire
Black Keys
Would be much higher if I hadn’t seen them many times before
Ghostland Observatory
Surprisingly engaging but I’ve seen them before
Crystal Castles
I don’t really get it but others swear they’re good
Switch
Might actually get me to dance
Peanut Butter Wolf
Groovy white boy DJ
Noah & The Whale
Like an out-of-tune Belle & Sebastian
N.A.S.A.
DJs with loads of cameos from people who won’t show here
Silversun Pickups
Smashing Pumpkin-esque without an angry Billy Corgan
Franz Ferdinand
Who knew being fun could get so tiring after a while?
A Place to Bury Strangers
Worried they’ll offer little surprise
Molotov
Rock en Espanol
Steve Aoki
Like a less ambitions Girl Talk
Buraka Son Sistema
African electronic. Sadly very little is played live.
The Crystal Method
Strongly suspecting these guys are one-trick ponies.
Conor Oberst
Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.
*
Craze & Klever
Like letting the cool kid DJ your party
Felix da Housecat
If I suddenly feel like dancing to remixes, I’ll be there
The Bug
Breakbeat meets dancehall
People Under the Stairs
Old-school hip hop
Ryan Bingham
Straightforward country
The Aggrolites
Disposable reggae
The Presets
Coachella electronic music and one-star ratings are seemingly joined at the hip
Genghis Tron
Great name, bad music
Gui Boratto
Oh God, my head hurts
DAY TWO
****
Dr. Dog
It’s not possible for this to be un-fun
TV on the Radio
I’m expecting very big things
Band of Horses
If even just for the guitars kicking in on “Is There a Ghost”
Fleet Foxes
This + Leonard Cohen will be an energy-crazed weekend
***
Drive-By Truckers
Free Bird!
Glasvegas
NME darling Brit rock
Ida Maria
Like Lily Allen backed by The Subways
MSTRKRFT
Filling this year’s Justice slot
Superchunk
Where all the 30-somethings will be
The Killers
If nothing else, the light show should be good
**
Thenewno2
If Pink Floyd did tribal music
Cloud Cult
75% beautiful, 25% annoying
Turbonegro
The guys who brought you the album “Ass Cobra”
Blitzen Trapper
Like a less-excellent Dr. Dog
Amanda Palmer
If Tori Amos drank whiskey from the bottle
Calexico
If Leonard Cohen fronted a country band
Jenny Lewis
A little bit of talent and a whole lotta sexy
Bob Mould Band
I’m guessing solid songs will make up for a lack of stage presence
Liars
Next link in the Jesus & Mary Chain
Booker T and the DBT’s
25% chance of surprise, 75% of disappointment
M.I.A.
She is rivaling Perry Farrell with her low album to Coachella show ratio
Chemical Brothers
Another act low for having seen them lots of times
Electric Touch
The next Rooney (do we need that?)
Hercules and Love Affair
The day’s gay disco must-attend
Thievery Corporation
Like Massive Attack 2 years back, a place to chill
Atmosphere
Hip hop with amusing lyrics
Glass Candy
Like Deee-Lite on a bad trip
Mastodon
There’s a chance I”ll be in the mood for this
Billy Talent
Turn down that music you rotten kids
Crookers
Electronic baile funk
*
TRV$DJ-AM
Mildly entertaining but more of a gimmick
Gang Gang Dance
Sounds like a party I don’t particularly want to be at
The Bloody Beetroots
DJs
Tinariwen
Not world-music cultured enough to watch this
Henry Rollins
Not entertaining, not funny
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti
Freak folk
Zane Lowe
Hang the DJ
Junior Boys
Hang the DJ
Para One
Hang the DJ
James Morrison
Like an American Idol contestant belting out lite soul
Michael Franti & Spearhead
Hippie-baiting act should clear up the line at the falafel stand
Drop the Lime
Would make for a good drinking game though
Surkin
Unclear how they even earn a spot at Coachella
DAY THREE
<
****
My Bloody Valentine
Bring your earplugs
***
Public Enemy
I’m just gonna pretend “Flavor of Love” never existed
Lupe Fiasco
All the talent of Kanye with none of the ego
Paul Weller
If this was The Jam it would be higher
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Can’t imagine them ever putting on a bad show
**
Peter Bjorn & John
Seen them before but I’m up for another whistle-along
Late of the Pier
Filling this year’s Rapture slot
Throbbing Gristle
Should be a spectacle
Okkervil River
Emotionally fragile men of the world, unite!
The Kills
Remind me of the difference vs. The Thrills, The Stills, etc.
X
Brings back memories of 91X in high school
Groove Armada
If this wasn’t a DJ set, they’d be higher
The Cure
If only they’d done something decent since the last two times I’ve seen them
Mexican Institute of Sounds
The most interesting DJ on Day 3, hands down
The Knux
The most fun of any hip hop show this Coachella?
Lykke Li
I’m afraid she’ll wilt in the heat
The Orb
They need to get themselves a Daft Punk pyramid and then we”ll talk
Devendra Banhart
If only to see what Natalie Portman finds sexy
The Gaslight Anthem
Bruuuce!
The Night Marchers
Carrying the banner for alternative rock
Vivian Girls
Putting the noise in noise rock
Murder City Devils
If they played a beer tent this would move higher
Sebastian Tellier
French
No Age
Lo-fi garage punk
Themselves
If I’m feeling super arty
Friendly Fires
Cut Copy-like dance pop
The Horrors
Fun creepy garage rock
Fucked Up
Would really only attend to see if lead singer does funny shit
The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Great psychedelic vibe but terrible last time I saw them
*
K’naan
African hip hop
Roni Size
I’m mostly past my drum n’ bass phase
Clipse
Money, ladies, etc.
Plump DJs
Decent but still fairly generic
Marshall Barnes
Girl Talk lite
Shepard Fairey
Will either DJ or set up a booth to do caricatures in red & blue
Christopher Lawrence
60 minutes of trance. Probably all one song.
Etienne de Crecy
Maybe if the ecstasy is free
Antony and the Johnsons
I know he’s a critic’s darling but I don’t get it
Supermayer
Should they be ranked higher than Christopher Lawrence? Is there a difference?
Perry Farrell
There’s always seeing him next year…and the year after that….
M.A.N.D.Y.
N.O.
Paolo Nutini
Haven’t been this excited since James Blunt
