It’s our fifth year doing this and we’ve noticed a few things different this year: more dancing tunes, more hip hop, more saxophone solos (!), fewer female singers and waaay more profanity and sexually explicit lyrics. Not sure why but that’s how 2011 turned out. Before the list, here come the rules:

+ All songs are listed in reverse order because that is the only real way to do a list. Any of you with any sense of drama will listen to the whole thing from 100 slowly building up to number 1, at which point you will practically be bursting with excitement.

+ These are tracks, not necessarily singles. Covers qualify as well though I usually only include ones that are markedly different than the originals (and are good).

+ I only have one song per artist because the list is way cooler that way. Having 12 My Morning Jacket tracks in the Top 100 feels pretty anticlimactic. Everybody gets a shot this way.

+ They were all released in 2011on either an album or as a single. Sometimes the album came out last year but it was released as a single this year (or vice versa). That is a loophole I happily exploit.

+ If I’m wrong about the release date of something, blame Wikipedia, Amazon, and various music blogs.

Rather than put in links for every song this year, I’ve built out the list as playlists on both Rhapsody and Spotify. You can only find 85 of the songs on Rhapsody and 87 on Spotify. I’ve noted in the comments for each song which aren’t available on playlists and those have links. Or just jump around and pull them all up on YouTube. Whatever you do, the list takes about six hours all the way through so call in sick and enjoy!

THE LIST

100. Man or Muppet by Jason Segel (feat. Walter). The perfect intersection of The Muppets and “Flight of the Conchords”

99. Truth by Alexander. Don’t worry. That creepy guy whistling in the corner is just a hippie.

98. Still Sound by Toro Y Moi. A bass riff that slips into your bloodstream.

97. Sleeping By Myself by Eddie Vedder. Eddie makes even the ukelele sound badass.

96. Mountain Top by Bedouin Soundclash. Had to double check this band featured no members of The Clash.

95. Be Your Bro by Those Darlins. Even girl groups aspire to a good old-fashioned bromance.

94. Easy (Infinity Waits) by K-X-P. What the Haunted Mansion listens to after hours. [not on Rhapsody]

93. Bess St. by White Denim. If only Guitar Hero were still around….

92. Safari Disco Club by Yelle. The most fun you can have in French.

91. Car Crash by Telekinesis. Sadness never sounded so bouncy.

90. Gucci Gucci by Kreayshwan. More bling obsessed than Jay-Z and Kanye put together.

89. Your Wildest Dreams by Warren Haynes. What the last song of the night sounds like. [not on Spotify]

88. Blue Tip by The Cars. As if the past twenty years didn’t happen.

87. The Afterlife by Paul Simon. Apparently Heaven is run a lot like the US government.

86. Tennessee by Gillian Welch. “Beefsteak and whiskey”: seems about as good as a state motto can get. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

85. Warm in the Winter by Glass Candy. Dancing has a new queen. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

84. Miss K by Deer Tick. Makes “let’s get going” sound like a charming come-on.

83. Civilization by Justice. The dance club equivalent of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

82. Yonkers by Tyler, The Creator. We share similar feelings about Bruno Mars. [not on Rhapsody]

81. What Can I Do? by The Black Belles. If witches formed girl groups. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

80. Fuck My Brains Out by The-Game. Makes Prince sound like a prude. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

79. Is It Done by J Mascis. An acoustic ballad that still finds time for a slow-burning Dinosaur Jr guitar solo in the middle.

78. Dedication to My Ex (Miss That) by Lloyd (feat Andre 3000). Can’t imagine why she dumped him…

77. Damn These Vampires by The Mountain Goats. Even John Darnielle is getting in on the vampire thing.

76. Killer Crane by TV on the Radio. R.I.P. Gerard Smith.

75. You Don’t Like It by Jean Grae. “I’m like Judy Blume with uzis”. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

74. Love What Happened Here by James Blake. What a one-dude jam session sounds like in 2011. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

73. Novacane by Frank Ocean. Extra points for the Coachella call out.

72. Roll Up Wiz Khalifa. Sometimes all it takes is a very thinly veiled allusion to getting high…

71. Still Life by The Horrors. Britpop head-bobbers unite.

70. Last Night by The Morning Benders. Using Auto Tune on a Strokes classic = success! [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

69. Take Care by Drake (feat. Rihanna). Like the two most popular kids in school commiserating about their tough lives.

68. Leave the Engine Room by Everything Everything. A song that changes its mind every 20 seconds.

67. Rope (deadmau5 mix) by Foo Fighters. Foo Fighters songs have started all sounding alike to me…until one got a deadmau5 remix.

66. Mad Dog by Black Lips. Great for dancing the frug.

65. Chicago by Tom Waits. Would sound at home on Pinnochio’s Pleasure Island. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

64. How Come You Never Go There by Feist. Like your head hitting the pillow after a long day.

63. Calgary by Bon Iver. Easy listening for hipsters.

62. Ice Cream by Battles (feat. Matias Aguayo). This is literally what eating ice cream sounds like.

61. Lofticries by Purity Ring. What falling off a building in slow motion sounds like. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

60. Dystopia (The Earth Is On Fire) by YACHT. Most danceable song about dystopia ever.

59. Dna by Darwin Deez. A geeky tribute to genetics.

58. Bein’ Green by Andrew Bird. This now feels like an Andrew Bird original that Kermit covers.

57. The Coming Days by Hello Echo. A song Built to Spill. [not on Rhapsody]

56. Some Boys by Death Cab for Cutie. Ben Gibbard + heavy breathing.

55. Till the World Ends by Britney Spears. Can’t. Help. It.

54. It’s Hard To Get Around the Wind by Alex Turner. A song that sounds destined to be on a movie soundtrack (which it was).

53. Show Me The Place by Leonard Cohen. Like God singing you a lullaby. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

52. Whirring by The Joy Formidable. File under alternative rock anthems.

51. County Line by Cass McCombs. Like the mellowest of Eagles songs.

50. You and I by Lady Gaga. Nebraska claims its rightful place in the rock n roll spotlight.

49. So American by Portugal. The Man. Wins ‘Best Synchronized Clapping’ of 2011 hands down.

48. Calamity Song by The Decemberists. Because someone needs to fill the R.E.M. void.

47. Come to the Bar by Pete and the Pirates. Morale of the song: if nothing else, you’ll always have drinking.

46. Daydreaming by Middle Brother. An ode to not wanting to get out of bed.

45. Library Pictures by Arctic Monkeys. Someone’s been spending some time with Josh Homme….

44. Bury Me Standing by Handsome Furs. Like an indie bullet train. Does that make sense?

43. Down in the Valley by The Head and the Heart. For a Sunday morning.

42. Glass Tambourine by Wild Flag. Riot grrrl meets Deep Purple.

41. Wildfire by SBTRKT (feat. Little Dragon). A synthesizer with a mind of its own.

40. On the Rocks by Grieves. Hip hop that sounds like nothing else.

39. Oh My God by Cults. Shimmery.

38. Codex by Radiohead. Yorke + piano = haunting.

37. Senator by Stephen Malkmus. This just might be the anthem the 99% have been looking for.

36. Ritual Union by Little Dragon. Prince in the form of a Japanese-Swedish woman.

35. Art of Almost by Wilco. Further proof that Wilco can do whatever it wants.

34. Ashes & Fire by Ryan Adams. Adams wants us to compare him to Dylan. I’m tempted to do it.

33. Boeing 737 by The Low Anthem. Epic from the first note.

32. Little Black Submarines by The Black Keys. The Black Keys are never not great. [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

31. Wicked Games by The Weeknd. The language! . [not on Rhapsody or Spotify]

30. Pressure and Time by Rival Sons. Carrying the Led Zeppelin torch for 2011

29. Aberdeen by Cage the Elephant.  it’s supposed to be a tribute to Kurt Cobain but it feels way more like a love letter to The Pixies.

28. Doorstep by tUne-yArDs. What vocal somersaults sound like.

27. Need You Now by Cut Copy. If The National played discos.

26. Milshake by Yuck. Teenage Fanclub has a fanclub.

25. Dig a Little Deeper by Peter Bjorn & John. PB&J are bringing back the conga line.

24. Sadness is a Blessing by Lykke Li. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

23. Heartbeat by Childish Gambino. Troubles of a twentysomething.

22. As Bright as Your Night Light by Nerves Junior. Kid B.

21. Young Blood by The Naked and Famous. In an alternate universe, this would be a huge hit.

20. I Don’t Want Love by The Antlers. That sounds like the ghost of Jeff Buckley howling at the end.

19. Shell Games by Bright Eyes. This just in: Conor Oberst wrote a pop song!

18. Victory Dance by My Morning Jacket. MMJ goes full tribal.

17. Video Games by Lana Del Rey. True love is sharing an Xbox. [not on Rhapsody]

16. Ni**as in Paris by Jay-Z & Kanye West. “No one knows what it means…but it’s provacative!”

15. Thunder on the Mountain by Wanda Jackson. Jack White lights a match and burns the place down.

14. Cardiac Arrest by Teddybears (feat. Robyn). Shake your bone maker.

13. Radio by Raphael Saadiq. Otis rising.

12. The Words That Maketh Murder by PJ Harvey. Easily the best song of the year to combine olde Enlgish, “Summertime Blues” and an autoharp.

11. Time Spent in Los Angeles by Dawes. Jackson Browne-alikes give L.A. one big backhanded complement.

10. Wetsuit by The Vaccines. If nothing else, there is always the ocean.

9. Mine is Yours by Cold War Kids. Ladies and gentlemen your newest arena rock band: Cold War Kids.

8. Stuck in My Id by Reptar. David Byrne would break out his oversized white suit again for this one.

7. Midnight City by M83. One amazing riff goes a long way.

6. How Deep Is Your Love? by The Rapture. Like the Bee-Gees classic on amphetamines.

5. Losers by The Belle Brigade. Joins Tom Petty and Beck in the pantheon of loser classics.

4. Lover to Lover by Florence + The Machine. Motown meets Middle Earth.

3. Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes. For tripping out at the intricacies of the universe.

2. Rolling in the Deep by Adele. A song that took everyone hostage all year. And we loved it.

1. Lippy Kids by Elbow. A ray of hope in a dark year: build a rocket boys!

Related posts:

1. The Top 100 Tracks of 2010
2. the 100 best music tracks of 2008
3. Coachella 2011: What to See

It’s a quest that has been afoot since the web got 2.0’d and, in my opinion, can be split into 3 waves. Fan sites and MySpace helped change the game of music online in the first wave of social music sites. Suddenly there was a chance to comment on your favorite music with fellow fans, reach artists more directly and possibly even help shape who makes it big. Internet radio was just coming on the scene and you could easily hear programmers with much broader tastes than the evil overlords at Clear Channel Corp Inc. Radio looked like it was in trouble.

Then came a second wave of music sites organized around the crucial premise that you are what you play. Sites like Last.fm and Blip made recommendations based on what you played but, perhaps more importantly, streamed that list of what you were playing to other people. It was a chance to show off a bit. (See what I did right there? I went Junior Mervin’s “Police and Thieves” into The Clash’s “Police and Thieves” into DC Hardcore punk band Police & Thieves). This should have been compelling but, in reality, wasn’t. The playlist itself isn’t the exciting part. All of them missed that essential magic of sharing what you love most about music. Not just track names and band knowledge but the ACTUAL moment of awakening when you hear something new and brilliant and you’re with the person who is playing it (either physically or virtually but certainly in real time). “Right there. Did you hear that little horn riff? Amazing!”

That is what Turntable does – marries that High Fidelity insight with an experience similar to the Xbox Live lobby – you can see where your friends are, what game they’re playing and just hop in and join the fun yourself. Now, music is totally democratized. Even Pandora seems autocratic in comparison. Don’t like what’s being played? Jump to another room. There are a good number of packed rooms but also a seemingly endless list of rooms with 10-20 people in them. There it’s relatively easy to step up and take your turn as DJ. Or better yet: start your own room. You get your turn at the turntables and then you get to hear what others have to play. There are avatars so you can see your friends visually represented.  There are Awesome and Lame buttons to show appreciation and give immediate feedback. A whole sea of bobbing heads means you’ve chosen a killer track (or maybe it means you’ve sold out and gone mainstream depending on the room).

The IM tool in the lower right of Turntable takes on real meaning because you aren’t just talking about music – you’re playing it at the same time. Anything you want. It reminds me of my buddies and me reuniting on the road to Coachella every year, taking turns plugging our iPods into the car stereo to DJ a set as we catch up. This idea of real-time music-fueled conversation can grow an incredible number of ways. Diplo has already shown up in a room to debut new tracks. Mashable and other companies have hosted mixers in their own room. There has been at least one live Turntable club dance party. You can easily imagine the ability to buy and download entire playlists coming soon. If radio was in trouble before, it’s surely dead for good now.

Pandora just announced two days ago that they will be adding social network functionality to their service. It seems to be their frantic attempt to create the sort of instant community that has flourished on Turntable and justify that enormous IPO valuation. But it won’t work. Because people want to build their own experience in social and Turntable shows us that, when music is involved, that means taking over the airwaves too.

Related posts:

1. the 100 best music tracks of 2008
2. Marketing’s Future in Fantasy
3. Campaign of the Future

TOP 5 ACTS AT COACHELLA 2011

1. Arcade Fire
2. Mumford & Sons
3. Cage the Elephant
4. Elbow
5. Ms. Lauryn Hill

SING ALONGS

1. The entire set for Mumford & Sons
2. The entire set for Kanye
3. “King of Spain” by The Tallest Man on Earth
4. “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant
5. “Wake Up” by Arcade Fire

BEST ON-STAGE PROPS

1. Arcade Fire’s remote-controlled glowing balloons
2. Kanye’s crane
3. Sleigh Bells Jordan-esque jersey
4. PJ Harvey’s headdress
5. The Morning Benders’ on-stage painters
6. Cage the Elephant’s red dress

MOST OVERCROWDED SHOWS

1. Yelle (!)
2. Foals
3. Sleigh Bells
4. Kanye West (even on the main stage)
5. The National

BIGGEST BUSTS

1. Cee-Lo Green arrives more than ½ hour late, casually explains it’s because he “just landed”, then takes his time dialing in four songs before getting the plug bulled on him.
2. The only guests who get on stage with Kanye are Bon Iver and Pusha T despite Rihanna and Katy Perry both sitting in VIP. WTF?
3. The redesign of the Sahara Tent was heavily hyped but very few DJs used the huge new set of screens leaving us with the same old uninspired techno.
4. Day Three was the lowest number of truly amazing performances I can remember at Coachella.

TOP REQUESTS FROM ARTISTS TO THEIR AUDIENCES

1. Put our hands in the air
2. Sing along if we know the words
3. Make some noise (generally followed by a request to be a bit louder)
4. Indicate if we’d like to hear another one
5. Let them see us dance
6. Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
7. Have a good rest of the festival

ONLY ARTISTS I SAW WHO DID NOT, AT SOME POINT IN THEIR SET, YELL OUT “COACHELLA!!”

1. The National (they’re above that sort of thing)
2. Kanye West (this isn’t about us, it’s about him!)
3. Phantogram (would have disturbed their carefully crafted mood)
4. PJ Harvey (never even occurred to her to pander)
5. Tame Impala (didn’t even realize there was an audience in front of them)

A BREAKDOWN OF ALL STAGE DIVES WITNESSED (AND WHERE)

Foals / Mojave Tent

Delta Spirit / Outdoor Theater

Cage the Elephant / Outdoor Theater

CSS / Mojave Tent

The National / Outdoor Theater

WHAT THE HIPSTERS ARE UP TO THESE DAYS

1. Wearing captain hats
2. High-waisted jean shorts for women
3. Guys hair shaved short on the sides on long on top
4. Making heart signs with both their hands\
5. Tom’s shoes
6. Coca-Cola shirts (?)

CELEBS PERSONALLY SPOTTED

1. Aziz Ansari
2. Kirsten Dunst checking out The Felice Brothers away from the VIP section!
3. Usher with two massive bodyguards
4. Andrew VanWyngarden from MGMT

COMPARED TO LAST YEAR

making out

drug related incidents

glow sticks

glow suits

females writing sexually forward things directly on their bodies

temperature

Charlie Sheen “winning” T-shirts worn

Time allowed for set-up between acts

Late set starts

TWEETABLE RECAPS OF EVERY SHOW  I SAW (IN THE ORDER I SAW IT)

SCALE
5 An all time classic that will be talked about for years to come

4 Absolutely incredible

3 Really quite good

2 Decent but disappointing

1 Awful

DAY ONE

!!!

3.5

One long groove with white boy dancing so bad it’s good.

Titus Andronicus

4

Clash-style rock with Civil War-referencing lyrics. Add harmonica.

The Morning Benders

2.5

Good tunes but a bit lifeless

Cee-Lo Green

2

Throw a diva fit for not getting a later slot and started so late that Coachella pulled the plug on him after four songs that he merely dialed in. “Fuck You”, indeed.

Tame Impala

2.5

Took a great album and played it note for note live without most of the faster stuff.

Ms. Lauryn Hill

4

Known for hit-and-miss performances recently, she totally delivered . The best set of Day One.

Cold War Kids

3.5

Nathan’s voice sounds as fantastic live as it does on record.  “Sermons vs. the Gospel” was the highlight.

Sleigh Bells

3.5

Not enough is played live but the lead singer completely owned the stage and the crowd with her presence.

Brandon Flowers

2.5

Melodramatic and poor Brandon, despite his hipster mariachi costumer, still lacks charisma.

The Black Keys

4

Watching two dudes play the blues at primetime on the main stage was incredible.

Kings of Leon

3

Way too heavy on the new stuff and they never seem to excited to be playing but sounded good nevertheless.

Robyn

3

Great entrance and the hits were fun but didn’t turn into the out-of-control dance party I’d hoped for.

Scala & the Kalacny Bros.

3

A Belgian girls choir that covers alternative hits. The crowds bolting for the exits when they switched to original songs proved their novelty appeal.

The Chemical Brothers

2.5

Just couldn’t hold my attention on the main stage without playing the hits.

DAY TWO

The Tallest Man on Earth

3

An absolutely adoring crowd that cheered wildly with just a man and acoustic guitar on stage. Awesomely unexpected.

Foals

3.5

Put on a rock show that helped me understand the hype coming from across the Atlantic

Delta Spirit

3

Were having fun and sounding tight despite scoring the midday Outdoor Theater “death slot”

Cage the Elephant

4

Absolutely roared through the entire set (while the singer wore a red dress). Everything I’d seen at Coachella this year suddenly paled in comparison.

Jenny and Johnny

3

Put a bass around Jenny Lewis and I’m already happy. End with “The Next Messiah” and I’m even happier.

Yelle

4

Exactly the dance party I expected Robyn to be. People spilling out the tent on all sides. This year’s most unexpected surprise.

Elbow

4

Stunningly gorgeous with songs that soared. Like U2 without a God complex.

The Kills

3

Fuzzed out rock that held my interest long enough until I was ready to move on.

Mumford & Sons

4.5

Mumford & Sons absolutely crushed the impossibly high expectations set for them with a heartfelt set that had the crowd enthralled during both quiet and loud.

Big Audio Dynamite

3.5

Energetically worked their way through a surprisingly long list of hits for the old people in the audience.

The Felice Brothers

3

The singer was either unhappy or f’d up and drained the energy the rest of the band was building. But “Frankie’s Gun!” with a drunk Conor Oberst and destroyed washboard made up for it all.

Raphael Saadiq

3.5

Solid as ever, even wearing a turtleneck in the desert. Unfortunately had to leave to get to Arcade Fire.

Arcade Fire

5

Even with all the hype, they still surprise and overdeliver every single time. There is no better live act in music today.

DAY THREE

Green Velvet

1

1 means it was awful and this was awful.

fun.

2

A bad start to day three. The singer went for the high note on a cover of Queen’s “Radio Ga Ga” and missed it.

OFF!

2.5

Quick hardcore punk songs punctuated by spoken rants against everything from the US role in 9/11 to Vons (leave Vons out of this!)

CSS

3

Tirelessly energetic show with the singer spending as much time in the audience as she did on stage.

Wiz Khalifa

3.5

Only heard two songs but when those two are “Roll Up” and “Black and Yellow” and he nails them it makes for all killer-no filler.

Nas & Damian Marley

4

A set without a single down moment and a crowd singing “Could You Be Loved” to finish.

Fistful of Mercy

3.5

Ben Harper was brilliant as usual and watching Dhani Harrisson sing was eerily similar to watching his father George.

The National

3.5

Totally polished and beautiful though it never quite made it to transcendent.

Duran Duran

3

Only saw the three song close which was as big, cheesy, and enjoyable as I’d hoped.

Chromeo

3.5

Got the crowd dancing from the first notes. Never stopped. Fun was clearly their only objective.

Phantogram

3.5

Kept a  dark, mysterious mood going the entire set and sounded far more experienced than a new act should.

PJ Harvey

3.5

Clearly a pro who can captivate an audience even by opening with a three song run featuring herself on zither.

Kanye West

4

Not surprisingly, the most complex to review. It started with a completely masterful spectacle of pure self-indulgence and went through a breathtaking run of hits starting off with “Dark Fantasy”, “POWER” and “Jesus Walks”. And it was clear Kanye was spitting his heart out – he watned this to be a show to remember. But after a while, the tragic downfall of King Kanye storyline he’d drawn for himself got tiresome and his final three songs lacked energy and left the crowd confused there wasn’t anything more. (That was way more than 160 characters but. when it’s Kanye, excess is allowed)

Related posts:

1. The 2009 Coachella Report
2. The 2010 Coachella Report
3. Coachella 2011: What to See

****  Do not miss this show

***    I really want to see this and will do everything I can

**      Would love to see but may get sidetracked by a churro

*        Let’s pretend these never happened

Comments and/or snark follows each act. Within each star grouping for each day, I have then mercilessly ranked each act in order again. So, for example, I would really like to see The Morning Benders. It’s just that I want to see Tame Impala bit more.

As always, a few comments for perspective:

+ I like seeing stuff I haven’t seen before when I go to festivals so most acts get heavily docked if I’ve seen them a few times (unless you are Arcade Fire and thanks for reading this post if you are!). I note who that applies to in each case with an asterisk so adjust accordingly if you haven’t seen them.

+ How they play live is way more important than how you sound on record for these ratings. Acts known for putting on a good show and those who actually play instruments vs. man a laptop generally fare much better.

+ I like to gamble on acts that will likely either amaze or disappoint and these ratings will continue to change up until the moment I’m at the show.

Without further ado, the ratings:

DAY ONE

****

!!!*

Like Will Ferrell meets Prince

***

Titus Andronicus

Because someone needs to carry the flag for rock n’ roll

Tame Impala

This year’s “bring your earplugs” entry

The Morning Benders

San Francisco’s own

Robyn

Dance party of the year

Ms. Lauren Hill

Will either be amazing or this year’s Sly Stone

Cold War Kids*

Never disappointing

Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears

Showtime at the Apollo

Sleigh Bells

This should be Ting Tings part two

Scala & Kolacny Bros

Choir versions of your favorite alterna-hits

Cee Lo Green

Will likely set the record for most one-liners in a Coachella set

**

The Chemical Brothers*

Visual greatness is promised

Klaxons

I missed ‘em last time. Not this time.

Warpaint

All-female Cure aspirants

The Black Keys*

The beer tent is gonna seem awfully far away during this one

OFWGKTA

Potentially insane hip hop collective

Cut Copy

This generation’s New Order?

Kings of Leon*

Luckily there aren’t many pigeons at Coachella

Moving Units

Like a kinder, gentler The Faint

Brandon Flowers

An epic sound married with zero stage presence

Kele

Bloc Party goes clubbing

Crystal Castles*

Moves this up to four stars if Robert Smith shows up

YACHT

A spastic LCD Soundsystem with no live instruments

Ozomatli*

More resilient than La Cucaracha

Flogging Molly*

Not to be confused with Dropkick Murphys

The Drums

50% surf indie, 50% high school musical

Beardyman

Like the guy from Police Academy who makes nosies

A-Trak

Spins stuff you know while making sounds with turntables

Nosaj Thing

Ambient with light show could be good late at night

Interpol

50% moody & atmospheric; 50% boring

G.Q.

Hip hop backed by Motown

Monarchy

Low-key house music

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

Like Belle and Sebastian’s less-captivating cousins

*

Excision

Loves that fluttery bass

Glasser

Should go over about as well as xx did

Gypsy and the Cat

Exactly as compelling as their name implies

Cold Cave

Clearly listened to a lot of Joy Division

Sander Kleinenberg

Not one of the worst

Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti

Too much “freak” and not enough “folk”

Magnetic Man

Sadly not a superhero

Afrojack

Sadly not a Saturday morning cartoon

Emicida

Rapping in Portuguese

Omar Rodriguez-Lopez

As proggy as ever

Marina and the Diamonds

Squeaky

Hurts

Don’t think I would have even liked this in the 80s

Erick Morello

“I feel it like a hurricane touching deep within my soul”

12th Planet

Remixes stuff by adding extra bleeps and blips

Jakes

I predict very few slow ballads during this set

Brandt Brauer Frick

Sounds like hold music

Gayngs

Auto-tuned smooth jazz

Mount Kimbie

Don’t seem to entirely know what they’re doing

Skrillex

Skrawful

Sasha

Gets paid to make laser sounds

Caifanes

No, gracias

Breakage

Similar to the 700 DJs that have played Coachella previously

Kyle Hall

Similar to Breakage

The Aquabats

This is a joke, right?

Boys Noize

Breaking the normal rule that “if it’s spelled with a z it must be good”

DAY TWO

****

Mumford & Sons

At last we meet

Arcade Fire*

They are Arcade Fire

***

The Felice Brothers

Another band to help feed my budding obsession with Americana

Jenny and Johnny

Hope this will be as much fun as Jenny Lewis solo

Delta Spirit

Cold War Kids meet The Walkmen

Broken Social Scene

Especially if Emily Haines shows up

The Tallest Man on Earth

Bight sunny midday folk

Cage the Elephant*

They’ve been listening to a lot of Pixies

Elbow

Reminds me of Peter Gabriel

Foals

British dance rock

Big Audio Dynamite

Couldn’t hurt to hear the hits

The Joy Formidable

Big swirling guitars and female vocals

Raphael Saadiq*

If you haven’t seen him before he’s a must-see

Bright Eyes*

He seems cheerier now which hopefully makes for a good show

**

Wire

Memories of “120 Minutes”

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down

Whimsical warbly muisic

Phosphorescent

Plaintive Southern rock

The Kills

No frills two-person rock n roll

Two Door Cinema Club

NewWave-y indie rock

The London Suede

Pretentious Brit rock

Freelance Whales

Precious whimsical stuff

One Day as a Lion

Pro: Zach de la Rocha! Con: No Tom Morello

New Pornographers*

Seen them about 1,000 times

Gogol Bordello*

Seen them about 500 times

The Swell Season

Super mellow

The Radio Dept

Atmospheric

Erykah Badu

The very definition of neo-soul

Animal Collective

Don’t have a single friend who will accompany me though

Mariachi El Bronx

Mariachi music with white boy lyrics

Electric Touch

Somewhat bland rock with harmonies

Scissor Sisters

ABBA II

Trampled by Turtles

Bluegrass

Here We Go Magic

Magic Numbers-esque

Cults

Quirky xylophone pop

Bombo Estereo

Rock en Espanol with projections behind them

*

The Twelves

Good remixes

Alf Alpha

Same as The Twelves

Laidback Luke

Slightly less annoying house music

SBTRKT

Half decent

Paul Van Dyk

Should be big but not necessarily good

Lil B

Stoner rap

Joachim Garraud

A DJ that plays electronic stuff

The Love Language

Lots of crooning

Empire of the Sun

Just like Joachim Garraud

Shpongle

Hippie trance

Mary Anne Hobbs

London radio DJ

Francis and the Lights

Light rock that grates

Yelle

Disco with French chanting

Chuckie

Or just go sit in the lobby at a W Hotel

DJ Hype

Literally DJ + hype man

DJ Marky

Fast electronic stuff

Goth Trad

Like playing Pong in Ibiza

Fedde Le Grand

Fedde not so Grand

Andy C

Just like Empire of the Sun

Daedelus

I don’t get it

EE

Recalls the worst of 80’s music

Steve Angello

Unbearable

DAY THREE

****

The National

Old thinking: boring. New thinking: transcendent

Kanye West*

Being anywhere else will feel like you’re missing something

***

Menomena

Please tell me they’re brining a horn section

Fistful of Mercy

Folk lives!

Duran Duran

Here’s hoping they stick to the old stuff

Phantogram

Moody and too cool for school

**

Plan B

This year’s Amy Winehouse entry

Nas & Damien Marley

Will be fun and get you a free contact high

Neon Trees

Like when alternative ruled the Top 40

Chromeo

Like Saturday Night Fever meets electro-funk

Good Old War

Crosby Stills Nash and Good Old War

The Strokes*

The new lights are pretty but they’re still boring

PJ Harvey

Feels like one I should see

Trentemoller

Downbeat electro played live

fun.

Unabashedly happy

Rye Rye

Lil’ M.I.A.

CSS*

High energy Brazilian electro

OFF!

Black Flag + Redd Kross + Rocket From the Crypt

Ratatat

Guitars that sound like buzzing insects

MEN

Hipster dance music

Tinie Tempah

Dizzee Rascal meets Jay-Z

Duck Sauce

Barbara Streisand.

Twin Shadow

A more subdued Bloc Party

HEALTH

Noisy soundtrack rock

She Wants Revenge

Interpol you can dance to

Best Coast

Girl groups gone fuzzy

Wiz Khalifa

Hemp-inspired hip hop

Eliza Doolittle

Lily Allen with less wit but shorter shorts

Thunderball

Thievery Corporation-esque

Jimmy Eat World

Will sadly be waiting for the hits like everyone else

Foster the People

Earnest alternative rock

Green Velvet

Dance music with a sense of humor

Angus and Julia Stone

Sleepy lo-fi

Death From Above 1979

Dancey punk

Leftfield

At least they can afford cool lights

Ellie Goulding

This week on a very special episode of Gray’s Anatomy

*

Los Bunkers

Worship Los Fab Quatro

Presets

Dance music with vocals

High Contrast

Sounds an awful lot like the Propellerheads

Tokimonsta

KCRW-ready beats

Roska

Dub and more dub

Gord Downie

Acoustic boringness

Terror Danjah

Bleeps and bloops

City and Colour

Like your favorite sensitive coffeehouse soundtrack

Caspa

Never accused of not using enough bass

New Pants

Chinese New Wave

DJ Zinc

Rockin’ the upper right portion of the periodic table

Sven Vath

Means “boring techno” in Swedish

Jack’s Mannequin

Like The Fray but worse

Jack Beats

Put “off” after both words in their name. Heh heh.

The Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77

Angry techno not unlike Death From Above 1979

Lorn

Better than Korn

Riva Starr

From what I can tell, no relation to Ringo

Axwell

Expect strobe lights

Kode 9

Krap

Ryan Leslie

Neo R&B singer complete with Auto-Tune jams

Joy Orbison

The name is way more fun than the music

Lightning Bolt

There won’t be a female in the audience

Delorean

Like the Tijuana clubs I frequented in the 80’s

Zed Bias

Easy listening meets electro

Chase and Status

Like those motivational posters in techno form

Related posts:

1. Coachella 2010: What to See
2. Coachella 09: Where I’ll Be
3. The 2011 Coachella Report

It is today, your  two year anniversary since becoming the belle of the ball at SXSW, that I write you this letter as someone who cares. I used to pull out my phone to check in and it was fun- beating others to it, trying to become mayor, showing off badges, explaining animatedly what you are. Now I’m a bit, well, embarrassed. I find myself checking in surreptitiously for fear of being judged. Just the other night I was at dinner with four other guys who at one time used your service. You should have seen the heaps of scorn thrown my way. “Really? You’re still using Foursqaure?” You would have thought I had pulled out a map and a few quarters for the pay phone the way they mocked. After the teasing and incredulous looks, the next question is always the same:

Why do you still even use it? What’s the point?

It’s a fair question.

Originally the promise seemed to be knowing where your friends were all the time. But the incentive didn’t seem enough to constantly pull out the phone, wait for it to search places, check in, etc.  Then we all got excited because of your much talked-about game mechanics: points! badges! leaderboards! But you never really cared much about those, did you? It feels so half-assed. The set-up was promising- an ongoing quest to experience more than your friends and have the score and badges to brag about it. But nothing really ever happens, no sense of progress or accomplishment beyond a list of badges that quickly diminish and a leaderboard that disappears every week. I know you just announced some changes for Foursquare 3.0 but it doesn’t feel like it goes nearly far enough.

But I do have an answer for those who challenge my allegiance to you: I tell them that I like keeping an ongoing record of where I’ve been and how often and that I’m hoping one day you’ll make that data stream useful. I know. Pathetic ,right? That’s why I’m writing you as a friend. You gotta take this thing back off autopilot and really innovate. The seeds of your reincarnation are right in front of you. It’s that Stats tab on your website – a really great snapshot of my social activity in the past month. It’s fascinating. Because, as Facebook has taught us, if there is one thing we are fascinated by it’s ourselves. Here’s a record of where I’ve been, how often, on what nights, and with whom. But you’re only scratching the surface.

First of all, my favorite part of Foursquare is only on your website. You do realize no one uses Foursquare by going to the website, right?

Second, it’s only for the past month. I want to see my entire history. I want to look back at the end of the year.  I want stats from more than just the last month.

Third, I want to search my history and then pull out the parts I’m looking for. Relive past vacations through my check-in history. Send a list of restaurants and wineries I’ve visited to a friend visiting Napa for the first time. Help me track how often (or not) I’ve been visiting the gym over time.

Fourth, I want to share this stuff much more with my friends than I can currently. Let them see my history and stats. I want to see theirs.  I’m already taking in their Facebook photos and tweet stream – this helps complete the picture.

While we’re at it, why not also use all that data to make recommendations, Amazon-style?  Where else have people like me gone to eat in Seattle? (Update: Apparently your new update does this though it only relies on friends vs. people with check-in patterns similar to mine.)

To sum all this up, it doesn’t need to be about badges and a free basket of fries at Chili’s to motivate me to check-in. Use my data more effectively to allow me to learn about myself and communicate with others. You should be at the forefront of this concept of data exhaust and what to do with it .

I won’t even get into how this could help you lure advertisers. If you think they like your badge programs, wait ‘til you show them ways to target based on what people do with your behavioral data. You have enough here for starters. And don’t worry about repaying me. Just give me my data and we’ll call it even. OK, and maybe a custom “You Saved Foursquare!” badge.

If you have any questions, you know how to find me. (Funny, right?)

UPDATE (Mar 14):  OK so you unveil a newfangled version of your service on the very day I originally posted this. Well played, Foursquare. Well played. But you’re not out of jail just yet. I’ve been playing with the new version here in Austin where everyone still seems to use it. I appreciate you giving out more points and regularly displaying my ranking among friends but it still feels like a one-dimensional game that gets old. The Explore tab is a nice addition and I admire you trying to knock off Yelp but prioritize where my friends have been or “people like me” vs. the less-helpful category of “most popular”. And lastly, let me do more with my data! (see above) This update feels like a step in the right direction but still just a baby step.

Related posts:

1. An open letter to moms who are social (in the digital sense).
2. Stop overthinking it: the quickest brand entry
3. Location-Based App Report Card